I go to the gym 3 times a week and 2 of those days I work with a trainer. We have some interesting conversations while he puts me through my paces. Today I told him he had to devise new and more interesting and difficult routines for me. This led to a discussion about motivation and goals. I am a goal oriented person. I do not do aimless things. Everything I do has to have a point and a starting place and an ending place. If something is easy for me I lose interest in it quickly; easy is boring.
There is some adage about it being about the journey not the destination. Not for me. I can’t enjoy the journey unless I know the destination. When I read mystery books I usually read the set-up chapters and then go to the end of the book to read the conclusion. Once I know where the story is going I can go back to the beginning and enjoy following the clues. I guess it’s like being on the inside – “Ha, ha, I know something you don’t know”. Actually I do this with most books. When I read “Oliver Twist” I was getting all upset about how that poor kid was always getting it in the neck. I had to read the end to see how it all came out so I could read the book from the beginning and enjoy the story, knowing the ending.
And then there are games. I don’t do games or play cards. Especially cards, where too much is a matter of chance. Yes, it takes skill and knowledge to learn how to play with the cards you are dealt but I just can’t get into anything that relies on any amount of chance. Also, I’ve never been crazy about sitting around for any length of time. I’ll happily play a game like Trivial Pursuit because my winning or losing is dependent on knowledge; it’s not a matter of chance but a matter of what I know. Of course there always has to be a winner and a loser, and that’s a concept I’ve never been comfortable with. As well as rules – we all know how much I dislike rules. What is the point of games and sports? Someone wins and someone loses. Pfft! The only person I like to compete with is myself. I don’t measure myself against other people, after all what do their accomplishments have to do with me?
Yeah, so I play the lottery every week. I spend little time and money on it and I surely do not make plans based on winning it. I will play the slot machines at a casino when the opportunity presents itself. It’s fun for the short time I indulge. $20 is my limit. When that is lost I’m more than ready to go do something else. Once or twice I just couldn’t lose that damn $20, so my boredom level reached, I cashed out. It’s kinda fun for maybe 20 minutes. Did I say that I have the attention span of a 2 year old?
I do admire folks who are free and easy. Who bounce along with natural insouciance. I’ve always wanted to be like that. But I’m not. Yet at the end of the day, I’m glad I’m me. A planner; super-organized; forward-looking, goal oriented and just silly enough to be spontaneous on occasion and a tad absurd.