You're joking, right? AKA The NYT food and style sections

If you want to laugh your ass off I strongly suggest reading the Style/Food/Home/Fashion sections of the New York Times. These sections are basically the print version of “Life Styles of the Rich and Famous”. I’m not too sure if any of us normal folks relate.

Today’s evidence: Wednesday is “Dining” day and I swear even back in the days when I cooked, never in my life have I ever cut out a recipe from the Times. Never. Hell, most of the time I gag at the thought of eating some of the recipes, much less cooking them. In today’s paper we have An Indian Curry Close to Home. My favorite part of this is the second sentence “With only a few ingredients you most likely have on hand…” They are so kidding me with this. And yet I’m sure many, many folks always have fresh ginger, cumin seeds, coriander seeds and black mustard seeds (and we should all get into the habit of toasting and grinding our own spices), mint, cilantro and chives hanging around. And let’s not count the ghee. What the hell??? I’m sure that are some folks out there, one of us nice normal folks, who do actually cook like this on a regular basis, and even toast and grind their own spices. Well, God bless you – where do you find the time ? Or the ingredients. Just Askin’

Then we have a lady who cannot possibly be a native New Yorker because she calls shopping carts “granny carts” There’s A Younger Hand on the Granny Cart. New York is a walking city – and shopping carts are how we get our stuff from here to there. Even tho my father had a car we also had a shopping cart because sometimes you had to get a bunch a stuff from the grocery store and it was going to be too heavy to schlep 6 or 8 blocks. When I got my first apartment the laundry room was in the basement and while there was an elevator it was just easier to put the laundry in the shopping cart and take it downstairs that way.

I never owned a car, or drove, for the 44 years I lived in NYC – how in hell does this woman think we got our groceries home? Shopping carts were (are) a way of life in New York and other cities (including where I live now). You trying schlepping 20 pounds of kitty litter home from the store without one. Granny cart my ass – been using one since I was a kid, still use one, will always use one because I’m smart, because I am a native New Yorker and because everybody in NYC uses them and because I don’t give a rat’s ass what other people think.

Okay – that’s the rant of the day. Over and out…

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