Welcome to my world

I do love how folks are going on and on about the social distancing and self-isolation. I have been living this way for 12 years now, and not by choice.  So aside from no bread or milk the bitching and moaning about the cautions being put in place only make me laugh sardonically.

My husband has been telecommuting or tele-working, howsomever you call it, for 12 years, so again, no change in our lives, welcome to my world.

The economic impact is very real and that disturbs me greatly. Not for my sake but for others who were living on the edge before all this.  And 12-Step participants – are they doing video meetings? And what of the people who don’t have the capacity to do that?

I am so socially isolated that since I deleted my Facebook account a week ago no one noticed. Well, one person mentioned via their blog that they couldn’t find me there to thank me for a birthday card I sent.

I grant you that I don’t really participate much on FB – I just go along my feed and click ‘Like” and move 0n – so it can be difficult to notice something is gone if you never really noticed it was there to start with.

Most of my quote/unquote FB friends are people I have never met and don’t really know.  I ‘met’ most of them, years ago, through blogging, but with one exception (2 if you count me) none of them blog anymore. They have lives to live – unlike me.

I’m sound like I am complaining but I don’t think that is quite the right word because my situation can be laid directly at my door. I allowed this to happen, ain’t nobody’s fault but my own.  It is NOT the way I would choose to live. I am not really an anti-social introvert.

I have always been happy in my own company, yes. I do dislike crowds, and yet I really prefer to live in large cities because – People! Large cities equal lots of things to do – out there in the world. Yet, I do need time spent in my own interior, solitary world. For the majority of my life I easily and happily had both. You can have both; you can be both – extrovert and introvert. It’s called ambivert, BTW and quite frankly I think most people are really ambivert – the middle ground where most of us reside.

The current health climate has only exacerbated my depression which is rooted in my isolation but also cheered me because now I’m thinking – “Ha – welcome to my world, now you know how I feel.” And that is just unkind because I wouldn’t wish this lifestyle on my worst enemy.

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