So tired. Dead-ass beat tired. And this is going to be my life going forward, so I sure as hell better be earning brownie points in heaven.

1.  About 25 years ago my husband was diagnosed with an “undiagnosed neuropathy” . It started in his feet and has over the years progressed up his body resulting in hand tremors. His left side is more affected than his right side. His left hand is basically useless since it shakes so badly. This neuropathy has also affected his balance.

2. Last August my husband lost his balance, tripped and fractured his left femur just below the hip socket. He had surgery and they put three pins in his femur. They wanted him to go to a nursing/rehab home for recovery, he didn’t want to, he came home and I took care of him.

3. Once recovered his balance is even worse than it was before, his tremors are even worse than they were before.

4. About 6 weeks ago he was getting out of bed, became dizzy, lost his balance and thankfully fell back onto the bed. Also thankfully I had left a urinal on the shelf of his nightstand.

5. A few weeks after than, he had been napping on his recliner, he got up, was dizzy and wobbly and before my horrified eyes he proceed to wobble and fall.

At that point I insisted he go nowhere without a cane; that he not try to get up from bed or a chair without having cane in hand. When he walks he wobbles and he wobbles to the left. If he bends over he wobbles, trying to stand from a bent over position he wobbles and falls. This cannot continue.

My husband gets up between 3:30 and 4:30am. Why, he doesn’t know, he just does, it’s been like this for years. We have two cats who are now accustomed to being fed when he gets up. He simply cannot, safely, bend down to pick up and put down their food dishes.

Therefore – I told him to wake me up when he gets up so I can feed the cats and then I will go back to bed. Now a saner position would be to just not feed the cats and they can eat kibble until I get up at a normal hour except – one of the cats is very food-obsessed and will wind around your legs if he thinks food is in the offing. I cannot take the chance that the cat will trip my husband.

Therefore -I now get up when my husband does, feed the cats go back to bed.  But – on Monday and Friday I do laundry – we have a community laundry room and I have discovered over the years that the only way I can be guaranteed access is to be the first person in there at 7am.

Today I was awake at 2:30am in anticipation of being awakened, at 4:30am we were all up – I went back to bed and fell asleep again around 5:30am only to be awakened again at 6:30am to get the laundry done.

And you don’t even want to know what I do to get our other, elderly cat, to eat – some folks would say she is spoiled, I’m just trying to keep her eating.

So here I am, sleepless in Virginia, trying to keep a cat and my husband alive and well.

Brownie points in heaven – I’m counting on them.