tl;dr

Published on by Grace

Yes everyone has opinions but just because you think it that doesn’t mean you have to say it.

If someone asks my opinion about something I’m going to be very judicious in my reply. For example. I personally dislike white shaker style kitchen cabinets, really dislike them. If someone just had their kitchen done up with white shaker style kitchen cabinets, and they are just pleased as punch, and ask my opinion, should I give it? No, I shouldn’t. What would that accomplish? Make them feel bad? Or tick them off and make them defensive? All that over kitchen cabinets? No. As I said, I will not rain on someone’s parade. If they ask me about said kitchen cabinets before they make their final decision, I might offer up that they can be difficult to clean, or simply say they’re not my taste, hoping that’s the end of the conversation.

If the subject is of great importance and you and I are of the same opinion then it’s a short conversation. If our opinions are diametrically opposed and I know there is no room for civil discourse, why would I even bother getting into it? Knowing it will only devolve into argument and confrontation, not reasoned debate – I’m keeping my opinions to myself.

That all sounds as if there can be no exchange of opinions ever. Of course there can be, just know who you’re talking with. And be mindful of the other person’s feelings.

Which brings me to offending people. In a forum such as this, the conversation is one-sided. I’m doing all the talking, a reader can only react. Yes, it is a personal blog and no one is forced to read it but if by chance someone stops in, is offended by my strong beliefs/opinions on a subject and feels angry or hurt or insulted or any other negative reaction then I would feel bad.

Even if I never knew someone was offended, that someone might be makes me pause. Perhaps not so much if it is about something innocuous, like kitchen cabinets, but suppose it was something deeply personal, like religious beliefs. I have very strong opinions about religion and I know that is a subject that is divisive. I keep coming back to – what will I accomplish. Do I really need to say it.

I’ve just realized what I’m talking about here is the purpose of my blog. I read blogs that cover important, intelligent matters. And here I am talking about myself and curtains. Not very interesting to anyone but me. And yet…the blogs I enjoy most are the personal ones. People just nattering on about their ordinary lives. I like that.

There is a a gentleman who writes about living on a narrowboat, I don’t understand 95% of what he is talking about but I just enjoy the heck out of his blog. Plus he takes the most fabulous photos. Then there is Ashley, who writes serious, informative posts about mental health. Yes, she also does personal fluffy posts, but fun or serious her personality shines through and I read every post even when I don’t really care about the subject matter of the day. She can be so funny while being serious and again, I enjoy the heck out of her blog.

So my last post was me feeling down on myself, for not writing on matters of great social or intellectual import. Eh. I started doing this whole blogging thing back in 2003 (give or take) because it was all new and shiny, a new internet toy to play with. I’ve never had a theme or a purpose. I suppose it became a diary I felt comfortable sharing. Or I just got tired of talking to myself and thought with a blog you can pretend you are talking with other people.

Whatever my reasons were, here I am still. Babbling on about the inconsequential. Who knows, maybe I will once again, as I have done in the past, talk about weighty matters. It seems age has mellowed me to such an extent I barely recognize myself. But I’m not totally unhappy with the person I see on the page. I’m thinking mellow is a good look.

16 thoughts on “tl;dr”

  1. Thank you! When I read blogs, for the most part, I’m reading as much for the blogger as the topic. No matter what the content, there’s almost always a piece of a person in the writing, and that’s what’s interesting. I like curtains, and if I ever get around to redoing the blinds I dislike in my living room, I’m copying your style.

    I don’t have shaker-style cabinets. I had to look them up because I’d never heard of them before, as I’m rather clueless about all things design-related. While I know I don’t have shaker, I have no idea what I do have, because I don’t know what the options are. 🤷🏻‍♀️

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    1. Lady, you are super smart and funny as hell. As for curtains, I think that word will henceforth be shorthand for anything light, fluffy and inconsequential. As for kitchen cabinets, I suppose basically you have slab, recessed, shaker and glass front door styles. But color and material – the sky’s the limit. I wanted glass doors for my upper kitchen cabinets because I have Fiestaware but they are super expensive. I have DEFINITE ideas (opinions) when it comes to design and home decor (Oh, don’t you just love that phrase – home decor 🤮)

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      1. And of course décor should have the accent so it’s especially fancy!

        Now we’ve got a meaning for curtains. I like it!

        My cabinets have a small rectangle-shaped area that dents inward, and then the centre is the same as the outside. Material? Whatever was the el-cheapo condo cookie-cutter material of choice circa 1992.

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          1. I have an annoying throw pillow story. I had this big one that I loved, but the stupid thing didn’t have a cover, so the only way to wash it was to wash the whole big thing. But then it took a week to dry, which made it smell. Not good.

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            1. My husband and I used to watch a lot of HGTV shows and the one thing, well there was more than one, but the one thing that would always have us asking “Why???” was – throw pillows! And Four hundred and forty three kabillion pillows on the bed – WTH?

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  2. I get what you’re saying. I used to write my blog posts following an editorial calendar so that I’d cover all the weighty issues I felt I needed to opine upon. Then one morning a few years ago, I tossed my plans aside and started babbling about whatever. Suddenly I felt like I’d found myself and readers appeared out of nowhere. Now it’s anyone’s guess what I’ll write about next, myself included.

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    1. I’ve always admired people who have a definite theme to their blogs – sometimes it is general and wide ranging within a genre (so to speak), like crafters. I’ve just never had a plan, didn’t start with one and have never been able to devise one. I admire folks who can write confessional types of blogs. Often they are TMI but I admire their boldness and openness, I’m not that brave yet I occasionally have the urge to, what’s the word, unburden myself. Of course there are the folks who write about their daily lives and the tone is ‘Look how wonderful I am” – those I can do without and yet I read them like a rubbernecker at an accident. I can beat this horse into the ground and I need to stop.

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  3. I’ve been blogging since 2006. Like you, I’ve never had a “niche” like most people because I share on a variety of topics. I’m sort of all over the place with what I share, but that’s how I like it. And that’s how I am about the blogs I read–some are personal, some are on photography and films, some are DIY and foodie blogs.

    I will sometimes post on my own blog about serious stuff (politics, current events, etc.), however, very rarely. There is so much drama and anger going on right now in this country, so I’ve gotten to a point where I carefully pick and choose, when and how I share my opinion on these things because I don’t want to add anymore anger to the pot. Do I still get angry and frustrated about things? Yes, I sure do. But I’m more conscious about spewing my own frustration on my blog because it doesn’t do anything to improve the situation. Like you said, “do I really need to say it?” In fact, I’ve stopped reading blogs where all they do is rant and rave about the same things in almost every post.

    I’m in a good spot when it comes to blogging. I feel more relaxed. I used to put so much pressure to blog. However, back in 2015, when I got sick and spent two weeks in the hospital, it really changed my perception on so many things in my life–blogging being one of them.

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    1. I’d rather tawk than type. When I have done vlogs I’ve gotten a lot of positive feedback and they are fun. But – I’m not crazy about my face being on the internet (tho, as you know, I occasionally post a selfie on IG – filters are my friend) After I got out of the hospital last September I posted a vlog on my old blogger blog and the reaction was quite something, I have since deleted it from the blog and from youtube – it was too personal. Wait – what does this have to do with your comment LOL I could delete this comment and start over but you have given me an idea…

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  5. I stay away from the heavy stuff and try my best to keep my blog an upbeat, happy place. I just blab about anything that comes to mind unless I’m doing a themed challenge like the A to Z this month. Like you, I don’t want to offend anyone, it’s unnecessary and doesn’t do anybody any good. Enjoy the weekend!

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    1. Upbeat and happy is just fine – everyone needs a little break from all the sturm und drang. I have a number of upbeat/funny blogs on my reading list and never miss a post on them because smiling and laughing are my favorite things.

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