Why am I still beating this dead horse?

Where are my people? Where is my tribe?

Where are the people whose first language is sarcasm? (Why is there no sarcasm font?)

Where are the people who can find the funny in just about everything?

Where are the people who like a little bit of just about everything but not the entirety of any one thing?  (I like Monet but please, spare me those damn lilies!)

Where are the concrete and carbon monoxide people? The folks who thrive in the energy of a city but find being out in the woods stressful but a city park soothing. (I understand your love of ‘Nature”. I need trees outside my window, why don’t you understand that my window needs to be on the 5th floor of an apartment building.)

Where are the people who don’t share my ‘likes’  but enjoy my enjoyment and can say that graciously while they disagree? (OK, I know a few of those people.)

Where are the people who can disagree, graciously, about anything?


And the beat goes on…

It’s an ugly yucky day.  To cheer myself up I decided to go through my favorites on youtube.  Which had me thinking about music – to quote myself:

We are music. The first sounds we hear are music – the beating of our mother’s heart; of our own. The low notes – we hear them first. Warm, dark, comforting. Rhythm – babies love the rhythm – rock them and they are soothed; swing them gently back and forth; our earliest memories, our first memories, are musical – rhythm and melody. The beat of the heart, the melody of the movement of the fluid we float in…our first memories. We share these memories, tho different rhythms and different melodies, and sing out to each other – hear me, hear my music.

Listen – the world is never silent, nor are we. Clear your mind and then listen – can you hear your song? Can you hear mine?” (Music is Magic)

The beat goes on. The beat is. The beat is what we hear first. And it is the beat that will always talk to us – be it either a shout or a whisper.

Dance to your own beat, only your heart knows.

Really, nothing going on

Three days after my milestone birthday I received a commendation from the House of Delegates of the Commonwealth of Virginia offering sincerest congratulation in recognition of my 75th birthday. Isn’t that cute? I may save it, it’s all fancy, fancy and comes courtesy of my local delegate, a Democrat. I’ve never heard of the guy but then I don’t follow local politics, just perusing the headlines makes me nauseous. What a bunch of losers. Voting in Virginia is pretty much like voting nationally – pick the lesser of two evils – they’re all crap.

I finally got around to have a DEXA (bone density scan) last week and lo and behold, my bone density is in the normal range for a 30-year old. I’m not sure why they use 30-year olds as the base measurement but hey, at least there is ONE thing normal about my body – scanning my body is akin to dumpster diving.

Got the new Elizabeth Strout book “Oh William” for a birthday present and I’m thinking I may re-read “My Name is Lucy Barton” before I start it. I’ve read “Lucy Barton” like 3 times but not in the last year. I suppose it is my favorite of all her books. You can’t go wrong with an Elizabeth Strout book except maybe “The Burgess Boys” – that one didn’t ring my bell.

We got whipping winds today and I have one of the windows in the living/dining room opened a crack and the glitter curtains are just dancin’ in the breeze – I caught my husband just staring at them with a slight smile on his face. These curtains just never get old. Everybody – go buy some glitter curtains, even if you put them on just one window, you will never lack for something to make you smile. (Regardless of your color scheme, I highly recommend the silver ones.)

Well, after 3 weeks I finally got a response from Mattress Warehouse about my refund – “they are processing it today” and if I hadn’t called – probably never. I don’t know if I’ll ever need another mattress but I sure as hell won’t go there again.

I miss opera. I can always listen to it, yes, but it is much more enjoyable to experience it in person. And besides, opera houses are always so opulent – going to the opera is just a total sensory experience. I was going to put an aria here but I know there are no opera fans reading this so I won’t torture you. I suppose opera is an acquired taste, then again, isn’t everything an acquired taste?



What’s fun?

The grocery store this morning. First up – this guy – his eyes and his neck are all flashy – there’s a video of him in action on my IG account.

The second floor of the store has the pharmacy, all kinds of drug stores items, household items, greetings cards and – wine and fancy beer (the non-fancy beer is on the first floor). Thursday is Senior Citizen Discount day. While we were sitting waiting to get our flu shots a little old lady, older than dirt, shuffling behind her cart passed by us – what was in her shopping cart? Three bottles of wine and two bottles of mouthwash. There’s a story there!

Rory posed an interesting question today, “The question today is … at what age should children be indoctrinated into their parents belief system?” and it tickled my fancy and I overshared in a comment – here’s what I said:

My own “indoctrination” was pretty liberal – it didn’t matter to my parents what church we went to – the rule was come Sunday morning our butts were in a pew somewhere – anywhere. Folks think all Italians are Roman Catholic – couldn’t be further from the truth. My father and his father and most of his relatives were Masons – some of the women in the family were Eastern Star – so NOT Catholic. My mother’s family were Catholic but only as it was convenient. I have no idea if I was baptized, there are no records. My elder male sibling took to the Catholic church like a duck to water – my only exposure within memory was the free lunch program in the Summer that the Catholic church provided to us poor kids in the projects. I didn’t like those people or their attitude or their fancy church. I told my mother when I was 7 I wasn’t ever going to go there for any reason, she said OK since we are moving soon you can chose a church when we move…I went to a Lutheran church for awhile, didn’t like it, when I was 12 I went to a Congregational Church and there I found a home. My family followed me from church to church. My elder male sibling made first holy communion in the Catholic church, confirmation in the Lutheran church and became a deacon in the Congregational Church. The Congregational Church was the only one my younger brother ever attended.

Oh and to make things more interesting, my mother always expressed a desire to convert to Judaism –

When we moved to the nice upper middle class neighborhood in Queens (where we so didn’t fit in or belong), not only were we the darkest people in the neighborhood but come December when my mother put a Menorah in the front window – well, weren’t there a few raised eyebrows in the ‘hood.

Other than the fact that our building has no water all day because the county is digging up the streets to repair the water mains – It’s been a fun day so far…

There are too many spirits around here lately and they are making me nervous. They are not talking to me, they are just here. Why?

Going forward

Birthday passed. I received gorgeous cards from Melissa, Helen and Sharla – really gorgeous and I will save them. I received a lovely email from David. I received a card from my fabulous granddaughters decorated with their artwork. The 4 year old wrote “Nonna” in the card and drew a ghost, the ghost’s tent and a walkway to the tent – I’m not sure what that’s about but I also received a Facetime call with the girls and they do have a unicorn tent in their room. The 2-year old sent a picture of a dragon moth. Again,  I have no idea where they get these ideas from. I received beautiful flowers and a bouquet of fruit.

And I feel no different. Jennifer wrote that she didn’t know how I felt about being 75 I replied that in my inner world I still have a future and grandiose plans. The reality is that I don’t have much of a future but I have a helluva past!

I don’t talk much about the health challenges my husband and I are facing because I think it puts a burden on the people who read/hear about them. My current health problems are of my own making – I stopped taking prescribed medication without consulting my doctor and that resulted in another internal bleed. Now I’m fighting back from that. I really need to get that damn thing out of my stomach so I’m looking at some form of stomach surgery to get it out – my doctor originally had dismissed surgery because of my age but  I think it really has to be put on the table. I suppose it will depend on what my cardiologist says and that review isn’t until February.

My husband’s health is one reason I have put off any thoughts of surgery, he can’t really be left on his own and we have no support system here. It worries me greatly.

With the start of October, between my husband and I, we have medical appointments just about every week until the end of the year. Oh joy!

So what’s fun? My husband and I usually read while we eat lunch (don’t judge – when you have spent the last 12 years only interacting with one person 24/7/365 conversation can run thin). Yesterday I was eating, reading and laughing. My husband made a little amused sound and I said “What?” and he said “It amuses me that you can eat and laugh at the same time”

And that’s me – and I am truly vain and egotistical about it – no matter what – I laugh. I love that about me. I love the laughter. I love the smiles. Go Me!