they are annoying as all hell. (or annoying as AF). 

I made cornbread this afternoon. Which got me thinking.

My husband’s younger brother got married when he was in his early 40’s (or thereabouts I don’t know exactly how old his younger brother is) to a woman who was maybe 2 or 3 years older. First marriage for both.

I disliked the woman on sight. But since we saw them only once a year it was no big deal. 

Initially they lived in a Boston suburb and we lived in Vermont. Then we moved to Virginia and on to other places. We still saw them once a year – they like to travel. When they retired they moved to one of the Carolinas (don’t recall which) and continued their annual visit. 

Okay, here’s what irks me about the woman.

On one of their visits she spied the Lladro figurine that was my wedding cake topper – Can you imagine this on top of a sheet cake? (BTW – instead of just taking a quick pic of mine I went searching for a photo and discovered there are variations of this – subtle differences in the positioning of their heads and faces – odd. They all carry the same model number 4808 but mine is incised with “A-08” with a hand scratched R. At any rate this figurine was retired in 1977 and I received it in 1990.) 

As soon as she saw it she said “Ooo – Can I have this? It’s worth quite a bit of money!” I beg your pardon? Who the hell does that? I replied “No, it was a wedding present” 

Fast forward a few years. We had moved to Virginia. My husband’s children still lived in Vermont, his family all still lived around Boston. We went up for a family wedding. His daughters, who were in their late teens came down. I took the girls shopping for some fancy clothes to wear to the wedding. This woman then decided to take ‘her girls’ for mani-pedis. 

Yes, she referred to them as ‘her girls’ – these were people she barely knew. She continued fawning over the girls the whole weekend, making a big to-do but only when I was around. Make of that what you will.

Some years later, we were back in Virginia (having lived several other places in the intervening years). Brother and his wife came to our new place on their annual visit and the first thing out of her mouth was ‘Do you still have that Lladro?” Oy, lady, give it a rest, it’s been over 25 years, you’re not getting it. 

Then she says – “Oh, I like your lamp. I could use a floor lamp in our new house.” Me, being a nice person, I tell her where I purchased it, even printed out the product page from Amazon.  A few years later, another visit, she notes the lamps (again) and says “I have those same lamps!” I remind her that I was the one who gave her the information on where to purchase said lamps. 

When our daughter and family visited last year, daughter says “Auntie has those same lamps” I tell her the lamp story. 

Brother and his wife were here in March on the ‘annual visit’ and we got talking about food and I shared some of my favorite recipes with her – printed them out, put them in page protectors – whole nine yards. I included my ‘famous’ cornbread recipe. 

I have no doubt somewhere down the line some family member will remark that Trish makes this really good cornbread and I will remark, because I can be a bit of a bitch (big surprise, right?) that it is probably MY cornbread recipe. You know, as sure as God made little green apples, she sure as hell wasn’t giving me any credit. 

What is with that woman? This has been going on for nigh on 30 years. We see them once a year, and once a year she winds up coveting something I have and then co-opting it. 

This woman and I don’t really know each other. We have no relationship, never have had. We have never been any part of each other’s lives. We are, for all intents and purposes, strangers – What the holy hell is her problem! 

It used to annoy me. Now it amuses me. I wonder if she does this with other people. It can’t be just me. Oh, and another bit of information – years ago my husband said “You really don’t like her, do you?” I replied “No, I don’t” He said “Well, she probably doesn’t like you either but then she doesn’t like anyone”. 

And there you go.