There is ego and then there is ego…

Published on by Grace

After 20 days of restless nights of 2 to 5 hours of sleep, barely eating and sometimes going 24 hours or more without food, taking care of my husband in the hospital and then in the rehab hospital (they should have paid ME for doing the work of the CNA’s and aides), extreme worry, anxiety and tears (oh so many tears) and pushing for information and care for my husband, this is what I look like –

We escaped the rehab SNF aka nursing home on Friday (today is Saturday), been home for about 24 hours and my husband is doing better already. Me, oh maybe a little bit.

Last night we went to bed at 11pm and got up this morning at 8am. I only got up twice during the night to help him use the urinal. We facetimed with our daughter last night and I said I looked like shit-on-a-stick and she said “No, you look fine.”  She is a kind lady.

I feel as bad as I look but – we are home! So I can take a break and rest in comfort when I need to. Obviously since my husband can’t navigate on his own, I have to help him to move from bed to chair to bathroom and back. If he needs or wants anything I have to get it – I should have one of those step measuring thingies – I’m willing to bet over the last 20 days I’ve more than met the daily 10,000 steps goal.

I have nothing to prove so I go slowly, I rest as often as I need to, the dishes can wait until I have the energy. I do one thing at a time instead of my usual multi-tasking. I will not attend to paperwork until my brain is working again LOL

This morning the toilet adapter was delivered, I put that together and then discovered my husband would not be able to maneuver his walker into the bathroom, so I took the door off the bathroom and put it in the storage unit. Luckily our storage unit is only across the hall from our apartment.

I’m spending a small fortune on Amazon getting things to make him more comfortable and possibly easier for me. We already had a walker, shower chair and urinals from when he fractured his leg 4 years ago. I’m used to this but I’m 4 years older.

Plus – I now have to prepare 3 meals  a day – this is the most onerous of all the things I have to do. Empty his urinal – no problem. Wipe his butt – no problem. Bathe him, help him dress, fetch and serve – No Problem. Fix 3 meals a day – Big Problem! LOL

I’ve got more to tell you but it can wait for later.

19 thoughts on “There is ego and then there is ego…”

  1. Whew. I’m glad he’s home, for a lot of reasons. Hoping it is possible for you to get more rest this way, though a lot of it sounds pretty exhausting on its own. But at least he’s no longer in the rehab hospital and you don’t have to be as vigilant about what others are doing.

    And you look pretty good, considering!

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    1. Nursing homes are hell! If you don’t have a private pay aide, as good as the staff is there is never enough staff. I paid for an overnight aide – glad I did but hoo-boy is that expensive.

      The bags under my eyes have bags!

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  4. I hope he was assessed by physical therapy and occupational therapy prior to discharge of the things that would have helped him at home and the things that he needed to do at home. This is where a discharge planner comes into play to have things already set up at your home to care for him.

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    1. OK, here’s how it works. We have Medicare Part A only and Carefirst BC/BS Federal Employee Plan. Medicare pays for the hospital, and 20 days in the Skilled Nursing Facility aka rehab. After 20 days there is a $200 co-pay through Medicare. If my BC/BS pays any of it I don’t know besides the SNF my husband was in doesn’t take our BC/BS insurance which is weird because this part of the world is chock-a-block with federal employees both current and retired.

      Yes they went through a home assessment and we passed – I already have walk-in showers, a walker, bath chair, live in an apartment in an elevator building.

      Medicare pays for a month of PT and OT which we signed up for – first visit on Monday (YAY!) They will also pay for a home health care aide which I don’t want or need.

      The social worker at the facility told me Medicare would pay for equipment and no they don’t, not really. I wanted a transport chair and the cost was stupid as were the terms. I cancelled that order. There was a problem getting grab bars for the shower he will be using and I can get them from Amazon for $11.99 and my building maintenance staff will install them for a $25 per hour labor charge.

      What I need is some rest LOL and some way to get my husband back and forth to doctors appointments until he can manage with his cane. So far there is no transportation aside from Uber XL which we should be able to manage with the walker. He does not need a wheelchair. There is a cab company that has cabs that take wheelchairs but to say they are unreliable would be kind. We tried using them when my husband fractured his leg and they screwed up royally – we missed appointments because despite reservations they never showed up.

      Whew…

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      1. Got it. I asked all the questions because I wasn’t sure things were not done, ect. You just made it sound, to me at least, you were on your own. So I’m glad to see that you were not. And I know about what medicare covers etc. Since I worked for the state as a nurse that did facility inspection to make sure they did things right and many people do not know their rights ect.

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        1. I am on my own, I knew what I was entitled to having gone through this before and I asked before they offered, we have no family/friends support here. I thank you very much for your concern…

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    1. Me too! I really hate to cook and now I have to and George has got to put on some weight – He’s 6’6″ and weighs 168 pounds! He lost close to 10 pounds in 2.5 weeks at the hell hole.

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  6. I’m glad George is back home. You look pretty damn good for all you’ve been through these last 3 weeks! Even though you still have much to do every day, it’s good it’s all at home and you’re not traveling back and forth to the nursing home. I hope you’re able to get more rest breaks to take care of yourself. As for the cooking, that would be the worst for me too! I don’t cook but I can combine protein and veggies into a bowl. J doesn’t ever want to try my combinations so he would probably starve if I was in charge of his food!

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    1. I’m a good cook but I’ve been doing it since I was little – by the time I was 12 I was making entire meals for a family of 5 – I’m 76 – I’m so over cooking!

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  7. I agree with Sharla Grace, despite everything and despite the fact that your eyes have bags who have bags as well, you are looking good. Kudos to you for managing everything you now have to manage on top of everything you were managing before.

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  8. Glad things are better now, Grace. Wish me and my lady lived nearby and I would be your taxi service. I am just now catching up because for the longest time WP would not let me follow your blog. Some glitchy thing. But more to the point, I was also too busy drinking my face off and being generally unstable and self absorbed. Sucks to read about what you had to go through but I am very glad things are better now!

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    1. I am so exhausted – It never stops – he isn’t allowed to get up and walk around on his own – he uses a walker now and his balance is still crap so it’s all day – Could I have have….It’s all day asking what he needs, fetching and fetching – taking care of what seems like dozens of doctor’s appointments and cooking and trying to clean the apartment when I barely have the energy to breathe…

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