Just ask us – Part Two

Yesterday I led with family history but that’s not really where I was going but it formed a basis for what I really mean to get at. I’m coming at it from a woman’s point of view because that’s the only one I can speak of with any authority, being a woman. Men have different issues and I can’t speak to them with any insight.

This is for all you younger people – the generations after mine – millennial, x, y and even z (are we up to Gen Z yet?)

The human condition has not changed in three million years. There is nothing new under the sun. Whatever you are experiencing/feeling has been experienced and felt before.

Bullying; mean girls; sibling rivalry; teen romances (oh, the tears). We know, we understand – Just ask us.

The trials and tribulations of school – hateful teachers; not being allowed to follow where your curiosity takes you; being told you can’t.  We know, we understand – Just ask us.

All the feels you’re feeling – we felt them. If we are here to ask then we survived them, managed them, came to terms with. Just ask us. And yes, we had friends who didn’t survive them. We’re here for you. Just ask us.

Starting a new career, only girl in the room? Yup. We were there. “Me, too” moments? Holy crap, can we tell you about THAT. How to handle it, what to do/say? Just ask us.

Broken engagements, abusive boyfriends, nasty in-laws, – confidence shot to hell? Oh honey, we know, we know. Just ask us.

Kids, house, husband, job – IT’S ALL TOO MUCH – Yes, all that too. How do you get through it all without losing your mind? You got it – Just ask us.

Middle-aged? Kids off on their own. Husband wandered off too? Starting over when you’ve barely caught your breath from all of that? Pretty much written off by the world at large? Yeah, we’ve been there, Just ask us.

Do we have all the answers? No. Were things harder when we were your age? Maybe but it isn’t a matter of easier or more complicated. It is a matter of the feelings are the same; the situations are the same, just the details vary.

Whether you ask your mother or grandmother or some nice old lady who seems like she might have a handy shoulder and an open ear…When we say  “Been there, done that” it means we understand. We do. We lived it. We can help.

Just ask us.

Just ask us…

At 76 I’m at the younger end of being the oldest generation. There are still some left from my parents generation. My own mother died two years ago at the age of 103 1/2.  Were it not for Covid she’d probably still be alive. Not lucid, a body with no mind, but still alive and breathing.

In my experience, which is the only place I can speak from, we didn’t ask our parents and grandparents, especially us second generation immigrant children, what life was like in the ‘old country’. We didn’t even ask what it was like in the new country. When you are young these things don’t occur to you. Or, they didn’t occur to us. 

Plus in those times children were neither seen nor heard. Children were banished to other rooms while the adults talked. Whenever family history or gossip or matters of importance or the day to day bitching about life was talked about children were not allowed. Yes, as we got older, teenage, we overheard more but never really dared to ask. If we did we were told it was none of our business, not important, fobbed off with some crazy fairy tale they made up. Oh my, the lies they told.

Whenever a doctor asks about my family medical history I have to tell them I don’t know. No one ever said, I never asked. Whatever I know about my family, my parents, grandparents, what their lives were like, even what they died of – all of it is hearsay or lies.

Oh yes there were stories told around the dinner table, many I’ve learned were  just stories, or lies.  Some made up out of whole cloth, some prettied up because the truth was not. No one spoke of hopes, dreams, aspirations,  disappointments or even hard times. Looking back one would think that life was just grand from the moment they were born.

I wonder if people my age have shared with their children what they know – of life. Of the history they were a part of, what life was like for people ‘back then’ because back then was over 75 years ago. A lot of history under that bridge and we lived it.

Why doesn’t anyone just ask us?

 

Miscellaneous Mishegoss

For starters, today is Sunday, January 1st. New Year’s Day and for some strange reason it is a holiday. Except – Tomorrow, Monday, January 2nd is the day the ‘holiday’ will be officially celebrated with everything closed.  So many questions here – like – why is it a holiday in the first place?  I could rant on about ‘holidays’, their official day/date and the day/date they are ‘celebrated’ on but that would require some research, and I’m not in the mood because

I just stumbled over something I think is funny. Earlier today I read a blog post by Rivergirl about receiving kitchen appliances for Christmas.

A few minutes ago I checked my reader and there was a post on the Bluebird of Bitterness which was a re-post, I guess you could call it, from The Babylon Bee,  titled “Mary holding out hope for 4th wise man bearing an air fryer” .

Different strokes for different folks, eh? I doubt Rivergirl and the bluebird of bitterness got together and planned this and despite the old saying that there is no such thing as a coincidence, I’m guessing in this case there is – such a thing.