Tag: judgemental

That's a big Wow from me

Published on by Grace22 Comments

 I’ve always thought the fun of blogging was the interaction with other people, the exchange of thoughts and ideas and POVs. It seems other people (most people?) have a different take on it.

There was a blog I followed, and read, on WordPress that was often amusing. I commented infrequently since there was little to comment on besides the usual bland ‘Nice post”. This person occasionally says “Please remember my comment policy and post your disagreements elsewhere.”

And that gets a Wow from me. 

If I ever write something that you have a different take on, please do not hesitate to share your thoughts. I welcome them. Obviously civil discourse is a requirement. We can even agree to disagree. 

I joke a lot about pumpkin spice belonging only in pie, my pumpkin spice loving readers know I am tweaking them and I hope we both get a laugh from it. 

I’ve read some push-back on the agree-to-disagree. 

“Agree to disagree but also that I am right” or “…you are wrong” is not what I am talking about.  That’s unacceptable in my book. There is no respect in that sort of exchange. 

Sometimes the problem I face is that someone who is dear to me may voice an opinion that I find – um, uncomfortable. I don’t engage them on it, that is just a waste of time because no one can change another person’s POV; people have to come to that on their own. Yes, you can present them with facts or well reasoned opposing views, what they do with it is up to them. 

I don’t think I write about any controversial subjects anymore, music and books just aren’t that divisive. At least not the ones I write about. 

Not talking about the current book-banning bru-ha-ha going on now. And no I don’t support book banning, I do support a parent’s right to decide when it’s appropriate to discuss certain topics with their children. I also believe when a person reaches the age of 12 or so they should be free to make whatever reading choices interest them. 

The problem with that of course is that children are exposed to such a wide range of human experience at such early ages, despite whatever controls the parents have imposed, discussions may come sooner than later. I think a lot of parents are not comfortable with that. 

My personal views range from the very conservative to the very liberal. And sometimes both on the same topic. Humans are complicated and very little is straight up black or white. There are certainly more than 50 shades of grey. 

And there are folks who will disagree with me on that. 

When I was young I had no problem with absolutes, I favored them. Now – not so much, maybe not at all. I have my own biases to deal with. 

Now that I’ve got that off my chest, it’s getting on to late morning, still not super hot, time to shower and dress, looking forward to thunderstorms this afternoon, may they come early and stay late.

I'm not too sure I could be deeply hurt anymore –

Published on by Grace18 Comments

 and/or, by definition, offended: dictionary meaning:  “adjective – resentful or annoyed, typically as a result of a perceived insult.” There is also offensive as in, dictionary meaning: “causing someone to feel deeply hurt, upset, or angry.” Which is not to say I am incapable of being annoyed, upset or angry – I easily, and often, feel those but not on a personal basis. 

You can call me by a derogatory term/word which will say more about you than me. So – you’ve just showed yourself up for what/who you are. It’s no skin off my nose. 

You can comment on my appearance – and again, if true, then five will get you ten I already know it. If not true – ask me if I care what you think. 

Attribute to me some quality that is less than admirable – and again, we are in the ‘if true I know it, it not, your opinion doesn’t matter to me” territory.

Now this was not true when I was young(er) – just ask Jimmy Quirk. 

So – being called fat? Yup, you got that right – and? Do you think I don’t have a mirror or that I don’t know my pants are size XL? 

Being called a cold-hearted bitch? I can be when it’s warranted, I have been, but in general, no. If you think so, you don’t know me very well and I doubt you will ever get the chance. Your loss; ho-hum; fluff off. 

You see where I’m going with this, right? I don’t need to give you anymore examples.

Also – the notion about being non-judgemental. Hmm – I don’t think anyone is – not if they are being truthful. Making assumptions based on superficial information is gonna happen – to all of us, a lot of the time. Don’t lie! Whether your assumption and/or judginess falls into the negative category – that’s a whole nuther ball of wax. I’m trying to think of a somewhat innocuous example and I’m hard pressed. 

Ok, I’ll give you that we are not always judgemental, in a negative way, based on superficial information – some things just don’t register with some people.  But, yes, we do react to most things we see or hear. It might be a positive reaction, or a negative reaction and we might make further assumptions based on that. Or not, if it’s not that interesting to us. 

As in – I notice hair, hair-dos, hair styles, howsomever you want to call it. When I see a hairstyle that I find particularly fetching I spontaneously blurt out “I love your hair!”  I can honestly say I don’t take much notice of the person beneath the hair. I don’t know what that says about me – good or bad. On the other hand, if what has caught my attention is that the hairstyle is not particularly well done, I certainly don’t say anything and I’m still not noticing the person underneath.  But I’m probably thinking “Have you looked in a mirror lately?”

Funny example of that – we were watching a show the other night, the action was mostly in Antwerp, Belgium and having seen several episodes I finally shouted at the tv – “Does no one in that city own a comb?”  I shout a lot of things at the tv that I wouldn’t say in any other circumstance. Also as in – “Oh, please someone throw that girl a sandwich”.  Or – “You are too stupid to live” – I say that a lot while watching the news.

As always, I have no idea where this is going but I think I’m done for the moment. What’s even more interesting, to me, is what precipitated this little meander through my thoughts. BTW- the linked phrases? They’re idioms, and don’t we all just love idioms!